The end of the year holidays… the same music streaming on every station in every store you enter, the list of gifts to purchase that never feels complete even though your wallet has diminished in sizes you swore wouldn’t happen again, and the bombardment of sales ads every time you check your email that makes you feel exposed and filled with a panic that you’re going to miss something if you don’t purchase before the ticking time is over.
Yes it’s the holiday season again. The most wonderful time of the year… not… for many.
And it’s no wonder why so many people feel overwhelmed and overly stressed this time of year. I get it. It gets me every year too as I forget how chaotic it becomes and how much as soon as Thanksgiving hits it starts screaming urgency at you catching you off guard.
Then I take a moment and step back and listen to my body and remember what I have been working on for so many years. After a few days of practicing my tools again I can let go of the craziness of the world around and be in a more centered place. It’s not always easy though and I wanted to share with you 5 of my favorite tips for helping to get to your own calmer world and make the holiday season more survivable and dare I say enjoyable. These tips are great to use at any time of the year to bring more resilience to any stress in your world.
1. Breath
Yes this sounds simple but it’s something we often over look and is one of the most powerful and accessible tools we have. Our breath is an immensely powerful tool for bringing our stress levels down really rapidly. It’s also something we forget to do freely when we’re stressed and our breathing pattern changes resulting in us taking shorter breaths from our chest rather than deep breaths into our diaphragm and bellies. When you take nice big long deep breaths you fill your body with an amazing burst of fresh oxygen filling all your cells with that new energy. It also sends a signal to your brain telling you that you’re okay and it can relax.
So how do you employ your breath as a tool?
Simply take a few seconds to a minute at least once a day to take some slow deep breaths in and out. The more you do this the better, but even once a day before bed does wonders and the benefits are cumulative. You might not notice any change immediately but the more you do it the more you can feel the sense of calm it immediately brings.
2. Drink nervines often!
Nervines are plants that help support the nervous system and help calm you down. I can’t imagine a world anymore without consuming some form of a calming herb in my day to day. Luckily there are many different nervines in the plant world and many of them are delicious in teas and safe to consume daily.
Herbs such as Rose (check out a blog post on Rose here), Lemon Balm, Linden, Oats, and Tulsi are wonderful ones to try. Chamomile found in tea bags at your local supermarket is amazing in itself and isn’t just for sleep as it is often known for, although it can be amazing for that as well. Taking a strong cup of Chamomile tea after work is a great way to wind down from the stresses of your day or drinking it first thing in the morning is a lovely way to begin your day. I love drinking ginger and chamomile first thing in the morning. The two together are great for warming the digestive system up and getting the body awake and moving from a nice grounded place.
The key to making a tea with plants that are high in aromatic oils (ones that have a vibrant smell basically) is to make sure you cover your tea with a small plate or lid when steeping. When you cover your tea you keep the aromatic oils inside your tea which makes sure it’s nice and strong. Many people try Chamomile from a grocery store and say it doesn’t work and this is often the reason, along with the fact that the tea bag from the store is often too low a dose and weak old flowers. You can still use store bought tea bags if that’s all you have access too, you just might need to use 2 or 3 tea bags instead of 1 and let it steep for a little longer than the 3 minutes it tends to recommend.
For most leaves and flowers 1 tablespoon of dried herb to a cup of water steeped for 5-10 minutes is a great ratio for the “average” adult person. If the flavor tastes too strong or you tend to be more sensitive you can add some water to dilute it or use a smaller dosage.
3. Limit the sweets but enjoy the sweet flavor.
The supply of sweets and snacks around the holidays seems to be endless and at every gathering or event. It can be hard to resist and before you know it cookies and treats have piled up. Sugar though is hard on the system in many ways and can increase feelings of anxiety and depression so it’s best to try and avoid splurging too much to keep your blood sugar in check.
The flavor of sweet however is very comforting to the mind which is why it’s so often a splurge and at every social gathering. It brings an uplifting quality to the mind and in herbalism the flavor of sweet can bring calming medicine deeper into the body. Usually a small amount of honey is used for this purpose but the same concept can be applied to any sweets as they do bring such an overwhelming immediate joy.
The trick is to allow yourself to enjoy a small amount of sweetness and when you do to allow yourself to really feel how divine the flavor is. Really enjoy it for what it is. Instead of consuming a cookie and telling yourself I shouldn’t eat this, this is horrible and bad for me, I hate myself for eating this, it’s going right to my hips while you’re eating it… try instead thinking about who made that cookie for you and how grateful you feel for the love they put into it and how amazing it tastes on your tongue. Can you see the difference there? You turned that cookie from poison into an awe inspiring gift you gave yourself. Just try not to inspire yourself to eat the whole plate 😉
4. Say no to being last
Around the holidays without fail our workload tends to increase exponentially and your to do list can turn into a to do thesis. There can be children to do’s, in law to do’s, decorating to do’s, work to do’s, and so on, and so on. It’s often a time you get asked to take on a lot more responsibilities and it’s human nature to want to help others and please others but as a person you often put yourself last. Last after family, after your children, after your work, and after your community. But where does that put you? Do you deserve to be last? NO you don’t!
So ask yourself… What can I say no to right now? What can I skip or put your energy a little less to? I guarantee you there’s something you can find no matter how small it is to lesson your list by.
If you don’t put yourself first who else is going to?
This was something I struggled with and admit still do at times. Being a mom and a wife I constantly put myself last. I don’t even know if last is the word for it as I didn’t even think of myself at all! After years of relearning over and over how hard it is to pull myself back out of the dangerous whole of anxiety from doing too much I finally learned how important this is after I realized that if I didn’t put myself first, or at least second, or third on some days, I was only hurting myself as no one else was there to do that for me.
So I ask you… how bad would it really be if you didn’t put yourself first? Would the world really end? What would you really lose? What can you say no to to make myself a little more of a priority? Give it a try.
The only thing you have to lose is no longer being the loser on the bottom of your list!
5. Take a moment for you every day.
Along the lines of how important it is to make yourself a priority in your life is the essential need to take a moment for yourself Every… Single… Day.
This is the ultimate form of self care. No expensive gadgets or tools needed here but the extreme version of a return for your effort in exchange is what you will receive.
How often do you go days, weeks, or months without even stopping to ask yourself what do I want to do with my time? What free time do I even have to ask that is probably your response.
A very wise mentor of mine reminded me of this essential need and it was a game changer. I get it your free time is limited and I’m not saying you need to take an hour every day to do something. I’m saying a moment… a minute can suffice if that’s all you have. Just take a moment to breath, to check in with yourself and see how you are doing, and even more importantly, to ask yourself… ask your heart… what it wants and wants to do in that moment. Sometimes you might want to just read a book, or sip a delicious latte, or take a bath. Sometimes you just want to be able to take a damn nap or get away from the screaming nagging kiddo that can’t find the toy they lost again… for the third time… today. If it’s an emergency situation like that maybe it’s just taking a moment to step outside in the silent air of winter and just take a moment to breath to yourself in complete silence. A moment of silence in YOUR world. Whatever it is your heart wants just try to do it for at least a moment.
Running errands and the kids are with the sitter… spend a few extra moments in your car before starting it to head home (and then make sure to blast some music that really makes you filled with joy or peace on the way home). The same tactic is great after standing in a long line somewhere waiting to check out after dealing with the crowds in a store.
The key is to make it something daily and let it become a habit of treating yourself.
A gift you give to yourself. Is there really anything better than a gift you can give to yourself?
I hope these tips bring you some support in these times when it’s needed most. I would love to hear from you and hear what tools you enjoy the most!
I hope you have a wonderful holiday if you celebrate any and an amazing New Year!
*The statements on this website are meant for educational purposes only. Please always use your own judgement and consult a healthcare professional before utilizing herbal products, especially if you are pregnant, nursing, take medications, or have a health condition. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This products is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
